title: The Body Genius, Part 5
author: The Truth
contenttype: podcast
publication: The Truth
published: 2019-05-29T20:00:00-04:00
sourceurl: https://www.podtrac.com/pts/redirect.mp3/dovetail.prxu.org//97/de39bfd1-9af2-4727-bff4-bfbd1eda1e09/TheBodyGeniusPart_5.mp3
word_count: 4143
This episode of the Truth includes strong language and violence. Please use listener discretion. Welcome to the 15th Annual Octane Awards, honoring another year of thrilling achievements in the world of action-based entertainment. Kapow! Please welcome to this day, your hosts. Lisa Jane, Carweigh and Eddie Reale. Wow, Lisa Jane. Do you believe how many great action movies came out this year or what? Eddie, let me be real. I think we should just start calling action movies, movies. They should call all the other movies, standing still movies. Wow, you're nuts Lisa. Let's hear it, huh? It was my first ever time being at an awards show. I wished I could just relax and take it all in. On the outside, I looked dapper as hell, but on the inside, I was a sweaty mess. There was no telling who was here or if any of them had heard the news that I might be a murderer. I gotta take you to this platter, Awards Evan. This thing fucking sucks. It does? Oh yeah. Nina Chessman brought me as her plus one. I asked her if she could get me in. She asked me what for. I said the investigation, and that was all she needed to hear. They seemed to shitheads hosted last year. I still don't know who they are. I think the guys from a band and the girl seems to be a stand-up who mostly does jokes about being tall. And let me just warn you, I've already started drinking and that's bad news for everyone because what? I am six foot two y'all! Have you ever seen a tall drunk? There was no sign of pralcarve got yet, but what would I do if I even found him? Put him in a headlock? Just ask what's up with a look in my eyes that let him know I knew he killed Wesley? All right everybody, we better get started because we got a long night ahead. We're talking surprises. We're talking special guests. And one thing's for sure, tonight is going to be Action! At that point, a bunch of people did a four-minute break dance to a song called Action Packed. It was awesome. I wish I could have just sat back and enjoyed it. But I had a case to solve. This is The Body Genius, the five-part story on the truth. Part five. A good body. Now back to The Body Genius. Please welcome to the stage from the Wild Sword trilogy and Pistolarium. Lincoln Rojetti. Lincoln Rojetti. All right Evan, I'm going to go see what I can scare up at the bar. Okay. Wait, Nina, what do I say if anybody talks to me? Thank you. Thank you. That's so sweet. I want to get serious for just a moment if I could. I'm about to bring someone out here who, well, he may not be from here, but in a lot of ways he's my brother. I met him two years ago on Pistolarium. That's how we all met him, I guess. You remember that first moment when he showed up on screen and you just knew one of the all-time great film careers had just begun. It's been kept kind of under wraps, but some months ago, this guy was in a helicopter accident on the set of his new film Silverfish. And it almost ended his life. And let me just say this, we're all damn lucky that that's not how this story ended because he's just getting started. Ladies and gentlemen, Prahl Carfgoth. There he was. Prahl Carfgoth. But he looked all banged up. The Viking beer was gone and he had a bandage covering the left side of his face and most of his neck. He was on crutches and he had this kind of scared look in his eye like he wasn't really sure if the audience would accept him this way. I felt weird that this was the guy I came to put in a headlock. Your reaction, it is humbling. It has been hard. There was a moment in that helicopter explosion when I thought, well, this really might be all over, no more movies, no more anything perhaps. It was a long road of recovery. But with the help of some genius doctors and the great people at primordial pictures, I'm happy to announce that I will be going back to set to finish my work on Silverfish in two weeks. Yes, it will be the greatest movie ever made. Right then, Prahl dropped his crutches and gave the audience a two-armed flex. That's right, yeah. Really late is gone to him. And they ate it up. Thank you. And I came to America with nothing, you know. No friends and no family. Hollywood, you became my family. Thank you. Good night. Good night. Wow, that was moving as hell, Lisa Jane. And now, a tribute to some of the great talent the action movie world lost this year. Erica Wong, star of base jump and war suit zero. It was one of those slideshoes of dead people that make me cry even when I don't recognize any of them. Carmen Ramirez. I knew I had to make my move before I got sucked in. But I stopped when I saw Wesley's face up there. Wesley Stern, actor, skip miracle, and the unfinished immortal cup. It was so cool of the octaves to pay him some respect, even though he'd only really made one and a half action movies. Then, I saw the next photo. Byron Scuff's I-Full, stunt coordinator. A white haired middle-aged guy with an iPhone tower tattoo starting on his chest and going up his neck. What the hell? The dead body from the old gym. A stunt coordinator. I did my fit and confident walk through the backstage entrance. There were all kinds of celebs and stagehand types back there looking all nervous. Then I heard a mumbly voice behind me. Adam. It was Adam Kyle, the chameleon himself, my highest profile client. He's actually real shy when he's not in character. Sometimes you got to lean in close to understand him. Carl called you about that. Say that again? I said, Carl called you about the thing, right? It about 10.9. Yeah, he did. I'm sorry, man. Carl, he thinks you're a murderer and I told him no way. Really? You seriously said that? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, come on. That really means a lot, Adam, because I'm not a murderer. Oh, Christian, dude. This will blow over. And when it does, I was talking to you. Have you met Annie? She produces the- I know. It's not important. But we think that you need to get one of these. Get one of what? An Octi, man. Like an award. You know, like a lifetime achievement thing. I'm just saying like, you do so much for me and for everybody, you're whatever. I don't know. Does that sound cool? That was, uh, riff actually. All right. Well, I'm feeling really shy. I better get out of here. Keep your head up, man. If I could stay out of jail, I might get an award. Wow. But first thing was first. I flagged down a lady with a clipboard. Um, hey, excuse me. Do you know where a pearl carve got hanging out? I gotta talk to her. I'm sorry, Amy, where? Oh, I'm- I'm from Strathlete Motor. Oh, okay. Yeah. You can follow me. Oh, tight. It's down this way. Mr. Carve got has a private dressing room because of his injuries. Of course. All right, here you are. Let me know if you need anything else. Awesome. Thank you. Sure. Once she was gone, I flung the door to a pearl's dressing room open. But it was empty. I saw an open duffle bag in the corner with some clothes in it. Over on the counter, there were a couple of weird lotions and medical creams and what looked like a coke float. A coke float? You know, frosty glass? I got another stomach ache. Like the one I got with detective Taylor, but worse. Like one part of me was screaming at another part of me across a canyon. Like I was watching a slow motion video of myself getting hit by a bat. Okay, okay, Mr. Trainer. I don't know how much you have figured out, but you have pushed us too far. You're coming with me. In the mirror, I could see Carve got standing in the doorway. With a gun in his hand. What if I tell him, then I will shoot you in your heart. And then I will explain that you attacked me. They will believe me. You are wanted of the police. Okay, well, whatever. Smart Trainer. Stay right in front of me. Close. We have to go back out to the red carpet. Everything else is too much security. There will be press. Do not try anything. I appear weakened, but I am not. Would you think they'll just let us walk out to your car? Of course. I am Pro-O-Cavgot. Big celebrity. Well, who are they going to think I am? Hello. Yes, hello. Hey, bro. Who do you got with you over there? Oh, this is my Trainer. He helped me to recover. I love him. His guy is the best. Wave Trainer. Come on. Wave at them. Hey, everybody. It's me. Hello. Hello. It was a messed up version of the moment I'd always dreamed of. Thank you. Going down the red carpet with a ripped actor, getting mad compliments from everybody while cameras flashed. It all would have been perfect if I didn't have that gun poking into my back. Pro-O-Cavgot tied my wrists to my ankles with some cords. Well, I secretly told my brain to keep working things out. Stop. Stop saying that. Stop saying coke float. He drove for over an hour without saying anything. I was stuck looking at the back of his big neck. His insanely enormous traps. The weird feeling came back. I feel sick. Then vomit. I feel like something is opening up in the bottom of my brain. And a bunch of things are jumping up out of it. Like little fish. And they all feel important. I do not care. Shut up. I came into your dressing room all mad. Because I thought that you killed Wesley Stern. But when I saw that coke float, all of a sudden I wasn't mad anymore. The mad got switched out for this other weird feeling. All my life I've only ever known one guy who ate coke floats. Who wasn't a little baby. Just shut up for the remainder of the trip. I'm not mad anymore. Because you didn't kill Wesley Stern. You couldn't have. You are Wesley Stern. This is a ridiculous thing to think. Think about it though, dude. I'm only involved in all of this because I helped Wesley Stern get ripped for a movie. But I wasn't getting Wesley in shape to play a mortal cop. Not really. Stop it. I was getting Wesley in shape to play Prawl Carvgot. That's it. That's it, isn't it? Yes, it has to be, man. I mean, look at you. Look at that neck. I know my own work. It is simply my neck. Yeah, it looks like Prawl Carvgot's neck. Because I made it look exactly how you asked me to. Because I'm really good at my job. The real Carvgot died in that Silver Fist accident, didn't he? But Straf Motors still needed him. Because they planned their whole future around him. The new Carvgot machine, all the Silver Fist high-ends, this whole big push into the American market. They knew how bad you wanted a fresh start, Wesley. They knew from the talk show fights, from how you tried to blackmail Prawl with his roids. They knew that you were the same height, that you both had Silver Fist blue eyes. And, and, oh man. Everybody got in on it. Tobins of Hollywood wanted a way out of paying the full claim on Prawl. But, more than a picture didn't want to lose Silver Fist or the Straf Motors deal. The crew knew what happened, but they were all paid off or threatened or like both. Those lighting guys who tried to kick my ass, they must have been there, what Prawl ate it. What scuffs I feel? Man, he tried to blow the lid off the whole thing didn't he? So they killed him. They killed him for you, Wesley. Huh? Huh? So you can get away from sleep dance? They shut the fuck up about sleep dance, Evan. This wasn't about fucking sleep dance, all right? Out Wesley. They did an amazing job on my face, huh? You know they use the same guy who makes body doubles for the Swedish Prime Minister. Swedes are intense, man. Way different than how they're portrayed in the media. Prawl blew it. Got himself decapitated. They were shooting that scene where Silver Fist stops helicopter blades with his teeth like in the comics, you know? And he was only supposed to go so far before the CGI took over, but that big moron just went for it. The Straf Motors thought if we changed it to an explosion, it would help explain away any little inconsistencies. They really burned me, you know? Like, I mean, I bled for this thing a lot. And now I can come out of hiding. And he'll in public. And get back to work. Because it wasn't his face I wanted anyway. It was his career. He's at the beginning. I'm at the beginning. Oh man, Wesley. You're bad, dude. This is best all. Look, I had no idea they were going to really kill anybody, Evan. I was in friggin' Malmo recovering from the surgery when you found that body. They said they wanted to make sure that no one went looking for Wesley. And this this Eiffel guy, look, it sucks, but he took that money. He made his choice. Yeah, he's. Yeah, he's Wesley, man. Hey, do you think I don't think this is weird? I do. But if I do good from here on out, I think he can be okay. Pro is mine now. It's that I want to make good movies. Did you hear what I said, Evan? Oh fuck you, dude. I was a joke to everybody. Didn't matter how hard I tried or how good I was, I was just a human joke. And why? Because my old movies didn't age well. Because everybody was embarrassed that they used to like me. I wanted to work. I wanted to act. I wanted to use this gift I have, but nobody would let me. Because of what I looked like. Because of what I reminded them of. So what, I guess I should have just killed myself? Well, in a way, I did. You know, I actually had to audition. Can you believe that? I had to show them that I could do the voice. There were actually sides. The human body is in love with being pushed to her extremes. It probably would have killed me if I blew it. Literally the audition of my life. Isn't that funny, man? Come on. Anyway, I didn't really think it was all going to work until I saw my new body. And man, you did that. You know that, right? Evan, when it came to getting my body right, yours was the only name that came up. Everybody knows you're the main guy who knows how to do that kind of thing. Who was in the machine, Wesley? Who's body was that? It was one of Pearl's stuntmen. It's a Swedish guy named Mills. He was their first choice to replace Pearl. Only problem was... You could have acted. You could not. He didn't take it well when he heard they were going in a different direction. They're really good at shutting people up. But Evan, listen, they're not unreasonable if you're willing to just get with their program. I didn't bring you all the way out here just to get killed, dude. Where's here? You're gonna have a meeting with them to discuss some options. You know, maybe you should think about it a little. Look at people like this, do for you. Or for your gym. I've got to believe that I won't what's best for you, Evan. Think about it. Right now, you're my only friend in the world. It's just messed up. You were better than him. What do you mean? Pearl needed steroids to look like this. You did it for real. Get out of the car. What about Nina Chussman? Was she in on it? No. Nina doesn't know anything. I knew she was nice. Wesley brought me out to some kind of grassy spot that was lit up by this town car's headlights. Two big guys with guns were standing between us and three people who were all smoking and squinting at me. Not him? Yeah, that's him. Hello, it's Rainer. Good to see you again. Welcome to our secret hillock. I recognize Leo from Straff Motor and Mr. Blake. The Tobin's insurance dickhead. Who are you? I'm afraid that's just something you don't need to know, trainer. What? Like some kind of primordial pictures, exec? Good guess. So what's the deal? How much does he know? He figured it all out. Geez. Some brain on this guy, huh? I got a lot of compliments in my life. But never that one. Why'd this all have to go down at my gym, though? Well, it was simpler to determine that it would be the easiest way for Mr. Blake to retrieve the body. Technically, your gym was a production resource which gave me jurisdiction. First tips. And the machine gave us a way to keep the police busy. They would believe anything I told them. It would have all blown over if you had just sat tight. Right. But now we're going to have to get rid of you. Whoa, wait, wait a minute. That's kind of a deal, right? Any time. Why? Well, don't we at least have to give him a chance to play ball? My God, actors are such embarrassing people. Look, I've still got a gun here. Hey. Oh, Christ. You're a kid. Oh, y'all, Wesley, kill us and try to keep this going all by yourself. Listen to me. I am a big part of this. And a lot of ways, I'm the main part of this. So we're going to just do what I say for once, okay? Why do we always have to do what a criminal would do? Dude, you are criminals. Shut up, Evan. No! Shut up! God! Am I? Wesley? Wesley had been shot. But not by anybody I could see. The two big guys started firing off into the dark behind me. I took the opportunity to bring both Swedish thugs to the ground with some very sick and very high moitae kids. Yeah! Then I knocked them unconscious with my elbows. No mercy. It was even cooler than my last fight. When I looked up, Leo, Blake and the primordial lady had run off. And whoever shot Wesley was on their way over. I killed him. For what he did to Wesley. It was Eileen. She had a pistol in her hand. Cecil and Morgan were just a couple steps behind. Evan, are we in trouble? We were just going to throw some red paint on Pearl. But then we saw him leave with you. We didn't know she had a gun I swear. Eileen? How does he know my name? Evan, how does he know my name? He's uh... He's... I didn't feel like I had the words just then to explain to her who she'd really shot. I called Detective Taylor on Cecil's phone to let him know where we were. Somewhere out in Temecula turns out. I got to knock the Swedish guys out a couple more times while we waited for the police. Which relaxed me a little bit. All right Evan. It's finally half of it. Eileen confessed to shooting Pearl and the big Swedes weren't saying anything. I tried my best to explain it all to Detective Taylor but I must have done a pretty bad job because Eileen went to jail and I ended up on the news. Evan, did you kill Wesley Stern? Who is the mysterious personal trainer and how is he connected to a string of grizzly Hollywood murders? But that didn't last too long because the man the police thought was Pearl Carve got recovered. I'm Wesley Stern. You know, Wesley Stern from anywhere you wanna. It matched up with some weird stuff the doctors had already found. When he heard what was going on with Eileen, Wesley laid the whole thing out for the police. And that's when team Evan finally started getting some points on the board. Seven high ranking executives at primordial pictures have been linked to a deadly international conspiracy including senior vice president Christine Monroe. I'm confident that the real truth will come out. They went down. Primordial folded. Tobins of Hollywood claimed Mr. Blake had gone totally rogue. He was found dead and sweet in a couple of weeks later. Leo, Ingvar and all of Strathmoter just vanished. Let's see. Oh, Eileen got out of jail. But Wesley went into jail. Oh, and Elaine Terees brought me on a bunch of talk shows so I could clear stuff up. You know, the evidence that I know is the kindest gentlest creature on earth. He wouldn't kill anybody. I certainly would not. I'm mainly interested in getting people into the best shape of their life. Most of these talk shows would show these insane before and after photos of Wesley, which got me a ton of new business. I even opened a second bigger gym for non-salebs called twin-andals body genius. Name just came to me. Two movies came out about the whole thing. Nina's movie Deadlifters about weight machines that eat hot people, which I got a story credit on. Oh, ten. No, no, no! It did all right. Kind of a cult hit. The other one was called The Dancer, and it starred Adam Kyle as Wesley and Pra. There's not much about me in it. They decided to focus on the whole Wesley, Eileen dynamic, but it made Bank and I had a cameo in it. Mr. Courgott, you're on in five. Oh, yeah, thank you. Thank you. You... The secret inside me... It's beating me alive! That was me in the dressing room scene with the clipboard. I know I'm not like the world's greatest actor, but it was fun. Anyway, I want Y'all to try to forgive Wesley if you can. He just wanted to start over, like we all do sometimes. But his fame had grown into this like... Trap. I don't know. Must be weird having a face that everybody knows. I don't guess I gotta tell you people. Anyway, I accept this Octi Lifetime Achievement Award for outstanding contributions to the film to action arts. It is really an honor. Whoa, am I being played off? Yikes. I got people to thank. Thank you Nina. Thank you Elaine. Thank you Jake and Jules. Thank you Wesley and I, Elaine. Glad you two are trying to make it work. Oh, dude, I went really long. www.twinnandlesbodygenius.com. Come to my gym. We won't let you down. Wow, what a story, huh Lisa Jane. This award show gets more intense every year. I'll say. That speech was as long as I am tall, y'all. Now to present the award for best use of a visible countdown clock, the star of Razorball Cameron Deal Takes. The Body Genius was written by Hunter Nelson and produced by Jonathan Mitchell. To hear more stories like this, go to thetruthpodcast.com. You can follow us on Twitter and Instagram. Our handle is the Truth Fiction. The truth is a part of Radiotopia from PRX, a curated network of extraordinary cutting edge podcasts. You can learn more about all the radiotopia shows at radiotopia.fm. And if you'd like to sponsor a future episode of the truth, send an email to sponsor at radiotopia.fm. Special thanks to the Magnet Theatre. They offer classes and shows on improv, sketch, and storytelling in New York City. Learn more at Magnet Theatre.com. For a full list of credits, visit our website, thetruthpodcast.com. The Truth.