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778: How to Help People Flourish, with Marcus Buckingham
Brief
From that foundation Buckingham outlines five sequential feelings leaders must create to generate love: 1) control — clear rules and reliable tools so people can take off a plate of armor (examples: Chick‑fil‑A’s clear Sunday policy, Southwest’s boarding rules); 2) harmony — emotionally meeting people where they are (illustrated by the nurse script that lowered reported pain and contrasted with an alienating Audi robocall); 3) significance — individualized attention and exceptions that signal you see someone’s unique story; 4) warmth of others — having a single point-of-contact or guide through messy handoffs (the hospitalist example) so people aren’t isolated; and 5) growth — a forward-facing commitment to a person’s future (Lululemon’s use of ex‑employees as ambassadors shows ongoing moral connection). Buckingham emphasizes these feelings are sequential and distinct: studying failures won’t teach you how to create fives.
Dave Stachowiak and Buckingham largely agree on the implications: leaders are experience-makers who should intentionally build what Buckingham calls 'Experience Intelligence.' He directs listeners to additional materials — designlovin.com for a 10‑part HBR-linked mini-series and lovethat.com for programs to build the capability — and to his book Design Love In: How to Unleash the Most Powerful Force in Business. The episode (Coaching for Leaders #778, published 2026-04-13) closes with practical nudges: focus on designing 5-level experiences rather than merely reducing low scores, and embed the five feelings into everyday processes to help people truly flourish.
Why it matters
Marcus Buckingham (guest) reports a curvilinear, 'hockey-stick' relationship between experience ratings and outcomes: only moving an experience to a 5 (love) reliably changes customer or employee behavior; moving 1→2, 2→3, or 3→4 produces little to no behavioral gain.
Key details
- Buckingham defines 'love' in organizations as flourishing — customers/employees feeling 'more fully myself over time' — and says people spontaneously use 'love' (not synonyms) when explaining 5-star experiences.
- He lays out five sequential feelings that build love (control, harmony, significance, warmth of others, growth) and urges leaders to design activations for each in recruitment, onboarding, performance management, and customer touchpoints.
- Example evidence: nurses who prefaced injections with 'this will hurt a little; I'll try to make it hurt as little as I can' achieved consistently lower patient pain ratings (Buckingham's cited study), illustrating the 'harmony' step.
- Handoffs are 'unloving' and drive disengagement; Buckingham cites the hospitalist role (a single point-of-contact guide) as a fix that raises patient outcomes by holding the patient's story across handoffs.
- Practical resources: Buckingham points listeners to his book Design Love In (HBR partnership) and two sites — designlovin.com (10 short HBR-linked modules) and lovethat.com (training to build 'Experience Intelligence').